Friday, May 3, 2013

So.. We're still alive.

That is no joke. We're still here, around, just not posting or Twittering or Booking or Skyping (at least on our Wizard accounts.)

Actually, after Mary and I left this blog, we did pretty much nothing.

Yeah. Nothing.

Man, it feels weird calling her Mary here. Aren't I Amber? The name, yeah. But I am not Amber, not anymore.

That's really confusing.

You're probably wondering what happened.

After I left my personal-ish blog (not the shared one which is this one) I went a little crazy.

Um, a couple of suicide notes, cuts on my ankles and thighs, a lot of angst, someone close to me dealing with an eating disorder, another close friend or two who had the same problems, an emotionally abusive brother later, I'm a little stable now.

What happened was blogging became too much to go on with, and I said, "Screw this, screw everything. I can't do this anymore." I left, a little dramatically.

Now that I look back on it, I'm such an idiot. I'm not coming back, though.
Trust me, I've tried.

Lately it's been a lot better. Back in December, some people found out what brink I was on and got my school, parents, and doctor involved. The decision was to watch me closely and not give me meds, and for me to see the school counselor every week. Those visits have been declining and I'm finally getting some leniency now, which is a great thing.

My friend, someone you know here. Mary. We don't talk about it often, but she's doing better now. We don't talk that much at all anymore. I doubt our friendship can ever really be the same.

My brother is out doing his own thing now, not quite out of the house but not quite here all the time.

And I'm healing, one month cut free, I just deleted my IRL tumblr that I reblogged SH/Suicide things on and decided I am done.

So hey. It's okay.

The big picture is, things get better.

If you want to contact me, please just leave a message at my EMAIL.

It's gonna have a load of spam now, but whatever. 

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